Back in the 80s, Joani wrote The Playbook for Kids About Sex and then A Kid’s First Book About Sex. They’re kids’ books all right, written around a first or second grade level, and they don’t talk about where babies come from. There’s plenty of books about that. Instead, these books talk about privacy, body parts, nudity, different kinds of touch, and even intercourse. They’re available for free download on her website.
Why did Joani write books about sex for kids? Her answer, paraphrased in the form of a bulleted list because I think they’re easier to read:
- A very wise person once observed that when little kids ask where babies come from, we tell them about sex. When older children ask about sex, we tell them about reproduction. Think about that.
- Related to number one, by the time we get around to talking to older kids about sex, it’s all about the negative stuff: diseases, unplanned pregnancies, that kind of thing. I wanted to give kids something positive to build on.
- Parents have a lot of issues and awkwardness around talking to their kids about sex, so I wanted to give them a tool they could use to distance themselves and allay some of their anxieties. These books are based not on telling kids what we think they need to know, but rather on asking questions on how the children feel about certain topics. And parents don’t even have to think up the questions themselves.
The trailer for the documentary “Scarlet Road” about a sex worker who focuses on men who are mentally/physically/developmentally disabled. As a guardian/student teacher of people with disabilities, this brings tears to my eyes. I wish that my 20 year-old kid (actually sister, but I largely raised her) had this opportunity to experience sex in a safe and comfortable environment like the men in this vid. So many people think that mentally and physically disabled people don’t experience any sexual desire (even involved parents who are otherwise educated about said conditions). I try and combat this stereotype whenever I encounter it (resulting in lots of awkward impassioned speeches). This DOESN’T MEAN REPRODUCTION. I don’t want my sister to reproduce, as she neither likes children nor is capable of caring for them (plus odds are any offspring would have major developmental problems). I still want her to happily experience this major facet of the human experience though. (Plus I’d like to limit the number of times I walk in on her masturbating as it is mortifying). Individuals with disabilities fantasize about the same things the rest of us do, and shouldn’t have to live without the sex they desire simply because of the way they were born. I know of at least one disabled man who has a relationship with a female sex worker and he is one of the happiest disabled adults I know (which is at least 40 individuals). We all deserve to have that chance. Sorry for the meandering ruminations, but this is a subject I have felt passionate about for many years/I have had a few cocktails. If this raises problems for you, please respond, as I would love to have an honest, polite, conversation (made possible by the superficial anonymity of the internet) about this subject.
Iceland is the most feminist country - they’re basically shutting down the buying and selling of women - no strip clubs, no prostitution, etc.
This is really interesting.
I’m interested in your opinions on this, from the ‘all porn is bad’ camps to the sex-positive camps.
I might remember to post more about this when I have more time.