You know you are a nerd when: I’m excited because I tweeted a link to this earlier today. This story is so familiar and so horrible, but the ending is way better than I think most of us are used to. In sum, I basically want everyone to read it, because it is perfect in so many ways.
I think that someone actually said to me, “The feminist revolution is happening right here!” when they asked me to step to the front. It was decided that the dudes were no longer going to take up space. For once, we were gonna dance in front of the stage. It was the last set of the night, Nervosas from Columbus, Ohio. We’d been stuck at the back of the venue all night, smoke being blown in our faces. One dude put his hand around my left hip in order to pass me - why do they always do that? Why can’t they just tap me on the shoulder or say “Excuse me?” They always wanna remind me that I’m a girl. They always wanna touch me.
The band set up and we formed a line at the front. They played, and we danced. The dudes, the two big ones, the two big dudes who’d spent the whole goddamned night at the front, they didn’t like it. We watched them, watching us, and we continued to dance. They pushed their way through. One of them was a foot taller than me, and fuck it, probably a foot wider, too. I’m sure he didn’t give two fucks about the band, but he sure wanted to stand directly in front of me to bang his head and chug his beer. I wasn’t having it. He’d inch closer toward us, then try to get between Jane and I, and we just weren’t gonna let it happen. We blocked him. “Lady bloc!” I shouted and laughed. This happened over and over again. Somehow, I always found myself at the front, he just couldn’t get past me.
Then skinhead dude starts coming in from the left. Audree had it under control, and we backed her up. He’d make his way along the line of us, trying to bust on through and we stood our ground. Dude wouldn’t let up and I thought, fuck it. You want a mosh pit, I will give you one. I jumped up and down, I pushed him, I dug my elbows right into him. I never let him in front of the stage for a second. Us ladies, we even linked arms for a few moments. We were a team and it was fucking beautiful.
Tall dude tried to talk to me. He said, “This is a punk show, not a war.” Funny that - us ladies takin’ up space is seen as a declaration of war, but when he does the exact same thing, it’s just a punk show. I told him to stop talking to me, I said, “I’ve heard enough from dudes, you’re boring me now.” And I danced.
The set ended and we all exchanged hugs and high-fives. It was smiles all around, maybe a little bit of evil laughter. Bri, Jane, Nicole, Michelle, Audree, and I. My goodness, I love these people. But the dudes just couldn’t let it go. First they tried the sad-puppy act, the come-on-we’re-just-trying-to-have-fun, then it was, you-hurt-us-you-gotta-calm-down and finally it was you-bitches-you-cunts-go-home and I think we were banned from the venue.
The entitlement. We stood at the front for one set at one show and they couldn’t accept it. They had to reclaim that space, they had to push us and shove us and block our view and call us names. I yelled at them a bit, but that was the worst part, because it was a total fucking cliché. They didn’t even seem to realize the macho show they were putting on, the I’m-a-big-dude-and-I’m-gonna-talk-over-you-now, as if it wasn’t already a part of our daily lives. I couldn’t even argue with them, I just said, “You’re boring! You’re boring!” and they were. And we ran away into the night, laughing, and patting each other on the back and saying, “That was beautiful!” over and over again. And for me, maybe it’s not a war, but it is never just a punk show.
amber just wrote this beside me and it’s fucking amazing and makes me feel a little better about tonight. i love her.
Reblogging because Nervosas are my friends and also, this is beautiful and makes me happy.
Every concert/show/etc. EVER I go to, some dude who is taller than me (I’m between short & average @ 5’4”) will stand DIRECTLY in front of me. Even if there’s like 300 ft of space in all directions. Like even if I’m nowhere near the front of the stage.
And it’s either be nice and polite and let the dude(s) think it’s okay to be dicks or be aggressive and rude and a “bitch for no reason”. (Guess which route I choose almost every time?)